The second book of Randy and Gary: commonly called Insertion
1As Adolf left Pablo Escobar's compound, Adolf stopped at the lake which supplied Pablo Escobar's compound with water. 2Adolf took down his pants and whizzed in the lake. The lake turned yellow and yellow water flowed from every faucet on Pablo Escobar's compound.
3After seven days Adolf returned to Pablo Escobar and asked him to let his Jewish people go. But Pablo Escobar's heart was hardened. He said to Adolf, "Be gone with you!"
4So Adolf swore to Pablo Escobar that a second plague would come.
5That night Adolf took three hundred sticks of TNT! and blew them up in Pablo Escobar's lake, killing all his fish.
6The next day Adolf went to Pablo Escobar and said, "Look, the plague of dead fish is upon you! It will stink outside worse then your wife's vagina! Haha!"
7But Pablo Escobar's heart was hardened.
"Dude, alright stop fuckbombing my lake. I'll cut back on the policing in the city. Now be gone!"
8But Adolf was not satisfied. "Nay said the horse! For this is not the will of the people. Relinquishes your power!"
9Pablo Escobar refused. Then threw Adolf out the window.
10Days later the dead fish started to rot. Pablo Escobar did realize that the dead fish did stink worse then his wife's vag spot.
11Pablo Escobar then called upon the people of the city to depose of the fish. When Adolf received word of this, he highjacked the trucks full of dead fish and dumped them on Pablo Escobar's roof. He then went to Pablo Escobar and demanded his Jewbag people be let go!
12Pablo Escobar refused once more.
13Adolf stepped up to Pablo Escobar and said, "Then I will send a plague of two point three billion flies! They will eat the flesh of you brown eye!"
14The next when the sun hit the pile of dead fish on Pablo Escobar's roof, the stench was so bad that every fly in the known land came to feast on the dying flesh.
15When Pablo Escobar saw this he called upon Adolf. "What the fuck, dude? Why did you put a bunch of dead fish on my roof? I'd beat you if I wasn't so high on cocain!"
16As the pile of dead fish dwindled the flies looked for food else where. The flies started to bite Pablo Escobar's men and whores, but they only bit the whores on their dirty fish stink crotches.
17Adolf went to Pablo Escobar once again. "Now, relinquish your power! And let me Jewish people go!" But Pablo Escobar refused once again.
"No fucking way, you're being a douche bag. I should rape your dead father! But I will give the city people fly swatters."
18And so for seven days and six nights two adults and two children pulsed with excitement and promise. They took a chance at a famous
casino, sample the gourmet dining choices, and pamper themselves
at a world-class spa. 19Whatever they choose to indulge all their senses in. They killed all the flies and left the city and Pablo Escobar's compound covered in flies.
20Because the city was clogged full of flies Adolf's Jewish people couldn't go to work. No accounting and sweet Jewish food were made for days and days. 21Pablo Escobar was furious for he did not know how much money he was making from selling cocain. He also had no tasty treats for him to eat.
22Adolf returned to Pablo Escobar but Pablo Escobar was in the crapper so Adolf left a message. It read, "I shall bring a plague to this land so great that it will suck. Let go my Jewish people! Or the darkness will fall upon this land."
23The message was delievered to Pablo Escobar but he was so high on cocain that he read it backwards, which made no sense to him.
24Then on the first day of the third month of the forth week in the next year by the lake in a city upon some dirt on the year of the dragon before the year of the cat when fall fashion was hot in the third but no later then the forth second on the twenty third minute of the fifteenth hour of the second millisecond. 25The Darkness took the stage.
26They played a lot of songs from their album "One Way Ticket to Hell... And Back." No one knew any of the songs. Then they played "I Believe in a Thing Called Love" which every one knew.
27The high pitched vocals gave Pablo Escobar the willies (not talking about the crappy hippie band from California) so bad that Pablo Escobar cut power to the city plunging it into darkness while The Darkness played their last song. 28The Jewish people rioted by doing accounting on non formatted paper and by penny pitching. The horror! The horror!